What Your Birth Month Secretly Predicts You’ll Get for Christmas

and July makes do with a slice of pizza. August escapes to the Bahamas, September drives away in a new car, and October finds a lump of coal. November can toast with wine, while December joins June in the empty-handed club.

The joke is the spectacular imbalance. One person gets a tropical getaway; another gets enough lunch to tide them over until dinner.continue reading …